Most of my life has been composed of negativity. It is easy to sit in negative spaces and not know how to get out of them. You can either allow yourself to continue with a negative outlook, or venture to a happier, more optimistic way of living. The thing is, having a positive mindset is not as easy as people make it out to be. Starting to live with a more optimistic outlook has actually been one of the hardest things I've had to teach myself throughout life.
People will always say, "Just look at the brighter side", "See the positives not the negatives", "There are brighter days ahead" etc. Now, all of this is inherently true, but when I was struggling in a deep, depressive place, these were not the things that helped me get out of it. No matter what anyone said, I did not care. For me, there were no brighter days ahead. For me, it was impossible to see the positives or the light at the end of the tunnel. Anything anyone said, just got blocked out in my head. It was just me, and my thoughts that were heard at the end of the day.
I will never sit here and say that I am perfect now, because I would just be lying. Eliminating all negative thoughts is just not realistic. You will be down sometimes, and some days will hurt more than others. The thing that flipped my own way of thinking and living was realizing how much time I have wasted sitting in my bed just thinking. I had shut out all people in my life and would not let anyone in. I was so consumed by my own thoughts that nothing else in life mattered. One day it just came to me, I am so tired of living like this.
Life is so precious and finite. If you are struggling with overwhelming negative thoughts just know that it's not worth it to hold onto every single thought. Just let them go. You do not need to pick apart every detail of your interactions, thoughts, and others perspectives. You are just holding onto more than you deserve. Holding and carrying these thoughts into your every day life just allows these thoughts to control you even more. The longer you hold on, the more they grow and devour your every day life, until they are all you can think of, and there is no world that exists outside of them anymore.
What I have learned, is to just let shit go. I used to hold onto everything and overanalyze it until the thought was so picked apart that I had realized I have been sitting in my room all day, thinking about it. I wasted so many days thinking about thoughts that did not even matter, and were NOT productive. Over time, I slowly allowed myself to just let go. Anytime negative thoughts arose, I distracted myself so I did not have time to think about it anymore than I needed to.
When a negative thought pops up in your brain, don't let it stay for long. You can process the thought, and tune into how that thought might be making you feel or what you want to come out of it, but that's it. Don't think about the thought, if it is not productive, and not teaching you anything or allowing yourself to learn more about yourself and your needs. If a thought, can't help you learn or grow in anyway, then IT IS NOT WORTH YOUR TIME.
Shutting down thoughts is not easy but over time it gets easier because you are creating a habit in your brain. For me, it is easier now, but when I first started trying, it was difficult. Just know, you do not need to be perfect and it takes time to allow this process to become fully functional in your life. The most important thing is consistency is key. If you are not continuously flagging something in your brain when a negative thought pops up, then your body and brain is not being alerted that this is bad. By not actively trying to stop thoughts, you are allowing yourself to think it's okay for it to keep happening. Just try to stay active in identifying when you are having a negative thought, and telling yourself this is a negative thought and I should stop thinking about this.
By even identifying a thought as negative, you are creating a realization that something that is happening in your brain should not be happening. Over time, the identifying will create the stopping of the thoughts, and as you continue to practice this, you will start to realize that you do not find yourself sitting in your thoughts as much.
Allowing yourself to let go, creates so much freedom and happiness. A weight gets lifted off your chest and you finally have more time to hangout with friends, speak with family, and just go on with your life. When you stop worrying about your thoughts all the time, you have so much more time to spend on other things that are much more enjoyable.
If you have been struggling recently, this is your sign..... let that shit go.
Thank you for reading queens!
