When Life Gives you Lemons: A More Positive Mindset

 

    Most of my life has been composed of negativity. It is easy to sit in negative spaces and not know how to get out of them. You can either allow yourself to continue with a negative outlook, or venture to a happier, more optimistic way of living. The thing is, having a positive mindset is not as easy as people make it out to be. Starting to live with a more optimistic outlook has actually been one of the hardest things I've had to teach myself throughout life. 

    People will always say, "Just look at the brighter side", "See the positives not the negatives", "There are brighter days ahead" etc. Now, all of this is inherently true, but when I was struggling in a deep, depressive place, these were not the things that helped me get out of it. No matter what anyone said, I did not care. For me, there were no brighter days ahead. For me, it was impossible to see the positives or the light at the end of the tunnel. Anything anyone said, just got blocked out in my head. It was just me, and my thoughts that were heard at the end of the day. 

    I will never sit here and say that I am perfect now, because I would just be lying. Eliminating all negative thoughts is just not realistic. You will be down sometimes, and some days will hurt more than others. The thing that flipped my own way of thinking and living was realizing how much time I have wasted sitting in my bed just thinking. I had shut out all people in my life and would not let anyone in. I was so consumed by my own thoughts that nothing else in life mattered. One day it just came to me, I am so tired of living like this. 

    Life is so precious and finite. If you are struggling with overwhelming negative thoughts just know that it's not worth it to hold onto every single thought. Just let them go. You do not need to pick apart every detail of your interactions, thoughts, and others perspectives. You are just holding onto more than you deserve. Holding and carrying these thoughts into your every day life just allows these thoughts to control you even more. The longer you hold on, the more they grow and devour your every day life, until they are all you can think of, and there is no world that exists outside of them anymore. 

    What I have learned, is to just let shit go. I used to hold onto everything and overanalyze it until the thought was so picked apart that I had realized I have been sitting in my room all day, thinking about it. I wasted so many days thinking about thoughts that did not even matter, and were NOT productive. Over time, I slowly allowed myself to just let go. Anytime negative thoughts arose, I distracted myself so I did not have time to think about it anymore than I needed to. 

    When a negative thought pops up in your brain, don't let it stay for long. You can process the thought, and tune into how that thought might be making you feel or what you want to come out of it, but that's it. Don't think about the thought, if it is not productive, and not teaching you anything or allowing yourself to learn more about yourself and your needs. If a thought, can't help you learn or grow in anyway, then IT IS NOT WORTH YOUR TIME. 

    Shutting down thoughts is not easy but over time it gets easier because you are creating a habit in your brain. For me, it is easier now, but when I first started trying, it was difficult. Just know, you do not need to be perfect and it takes time to allow this process to become fully functional in your life. The most important thing is consistency is key. If you are not continuously flagging something in your brain when a negative thought pops up, then your body and brain is not being alerted that this is bad. By not actively trying to stop thoughts, you are allowing yourself to think it's okay for it to keep happening. Just try to stay active in identifying when you are having a negative thought, and telling yourself this is a negative thought and I should stop thinking about this. 

    By even identifying a thought as negative, you are creating a realization that something that is happening in your brain should not be happening. Over time, the identifying will create the stopping of the thoughts, and as you continue to practice this, you will start to realize that you do not find yourself sitting in your thoughts as much. 

    Allowing yourself to let go, creates so much freedom and happiness. A weight gets lifted off your chest and you finally have more time to hangout with friends, speak with family, and just go on with your life. When you stop worrying about your thoughts all the time, you have so much more time to spend on other things that are much more enjoyable. 

    If you have been struggling recently, this is your sign..... let that shit go. 

Thank you for reading queens! 

    

Minipost: My Summer Scent

 

Lash Clusters: My Complete Guide to Success

 Hey guys! 

    If you are interested in getting into lash clusters I use the brand Goddvenus. They have very affordable lashes, and from my experience, good quality too (not sponsored lol). I use specifically the manga lash style but I have also used the wispy as well and liked that design too.

    My go to lash map: 10 12 12 14 14 16 (16 would be on the outer corner of your eye, and 10 would be in the inner corner of your eye). 

    My lashes usually stay for up to two weeks. They don't necessarily start to fall off or anything, but they start to just look a little crusty so I decide to take them off. Here is what I do to ensure my clusters will stay on: 

1.  Put the bond on the BOTTOM of your lashes (closest to your eye). DO NOT run the bond all the way through your lashes because it can cause a lot of damage to your natural eyelashes. Only the bottom of your lashes need the bond. I just will use the wand and tap the bond onto the bottom of my lash until I can see that there is a good amount of bond. 

2. Grab your tweezers and carefully remove one of the lash clusters from the packaging. I usually will start by tweezing the whole lash when pulling one off so I am not breaking the cluster. Once the lash is out of the packaging I will only tweeze the top of the lash to apply it. 

3. Application of the lash cluster is soooo important. DO NOT put the cluster onto your actual eye. Just line up the edge onto the very end of your natural eye lash. Make sure the whole edge is straight on your eye and not crooked, because sometimes when it's crooked it will fall off easier. 

4. Repeat the step above until your first eye is done. 

5. Once all my lashes are on, I will usually get my tweezers and clasp all my lashes on my eye in between my tweezers, so that I am pressing each cluster into my natural lashes to ensure they will stay in place.

6. Then, get your seal. You can run the seal all the way through your lashes, making sure that they all get coated. 

7. Repeat the steps above until your next eye is done. 

    And that's all there is to it! This process at the most takes me 10 minutes. It is such a boost to your look, and just makes life easier. I always felt that my eyes did not stand out enough and ever since using lash clusters I do feel that it added the extra oomf that I needed. 

Thanks for reading I hope this helps! 

How to Check Someone as a Non-Confrontational Girly

 

        As someone who is a non-confrontational baddie, at times it is hard to put people into their place. You might start to worry about how they or others around will perceive you. I have always struggled badly with people pleasing, and caring/tending to others needs before my own. GUYS it's 2026, it's time to knock that shit off. We deserve to stand up for ourselves just as much as we stand up for others. 

    It has taken me a lot of time to realize that my struggles with people pleasing was starting to allow people to walk over me. I was allowing others to control MY own life before I was. Don't let others put you down, instead do this! 

    When someone is talking down to you or speaking to you in a condescending manner, instead of brushing it off, call them out on their bullshit immediately. This is setting a boundary in place that you will not allow that behavior. If someone says something to you in a tone that you do not like, for example someone is speaking in a rude way to you just say, "Hey what you just said came off kinda rude, is that how you intended it to come across as?" By saying this you are not only calling out their behavior, but you are giving them a chance to explain their statement, just in case they actually weren't trying to be rude or hateful. 

    In most cases, said person will usually back track or apologize on the spot because they did not expect you to call them out. Just by taking this small step, you are putting multiple boundaries into place while not being rude at all. 

    Calling out someone's behavior is not easy especially if you are non-confrontational. Allow yourself to speak up on your behalf. Doing this is not only challenging the person you are speaking with, but it is also challenging yourself to take the necessary steps to combat your anxieties towards conflict. 

    At the end of the day, none of this is possible if you don't reflect on yourself. Take some time to sit in your feelings, and really be present with them. Why are you so angry? Why do you feel hurt? Why do you feel betrayed? Allow yourself to answer all the questions that have been roaming around in your head. If you do not get to know your own triggers, you can't understand how to specifically combat them. 

Thanks for reading I hope this was helpful in someway! Learning this strategy has helped me build the confidence to stand up for myself in my own life. I hope it can work for you all as well :) 

Bye divas!

Minipost: Coach Purse

 

Oh my god. I just have really been getting into purses lately and I just love the funky coach purses. Especially the pink ones or the ones that have ladybugs on it. I just love being a whimsy girl. 

Minipost: Day Update

 

It's been a good day today. This image basically sums it up. I hope you are all having a great day, find yo zen divas

My Experience with SSRIs

Disclaimer: I am NOT a medical professional. This is all just my opinion from my experience taking different SSRIs. Please get medical advice before making any decisions based on any kind of medication. 

Hi Everyone!

    Before I begin on this topic I just want to reiterate that this is my experience and different medications affect people differently based on many different factors. Please do not use my experience to gauge what you should do in your personal life. This post is just to raise awareness against the stigma that has been created around taking antidepressants. 

    I started taking antidepressants in June of this year. This topic is new to me and trust me, I do not know a lot about the topic besides what I have experienced myself. Before taking medication, I struggled with crippling anxiety. I've struggled with anxiety for as long as I can remember. It has always been a part of me and I used to HATE it so much. 

    For awhile, I did not even really realize I had anxiety. Over time, a lot of things started to add up. I always had a tight chest, trouble breathing, and a lot of struggles sleeping and relaxing in general. I had frequent panic attacks (daily) and could not stop shaking. When I was younger my mom brought me to the doctor because I would stare at the wall for hours and non stop shake (still do this to this day lol). All of that was dismissed but over time it got worse.... My junior year of high school when my parents were getting divorced was the worst. I could not sleep, eat or function. By the time I got to college it got even worse. I could not sleep the night before exams, I could not breathe, I could not function. I convinced myself on multiple occasions that I was having a major health problem, and felt physical symptoms of them. There were days where I could not even get out of bed to face the world. This was when I realized I needed to get help. 

    I've been going to therapy for multiple years now. It is amazing, but no matter what I did my anxiety would not get better. I could not progress my life out of fear. I felt in ways that resorting to medication was a failure. I was taking the "easy way out". I could not fix myself "properly", so I needed to resort to something that could do it for me. I genuinely put off medication for 20 years of my life because I didn't want to be a failure.

    Flash forward to June of this year. I finally talked to my mom and told her that I needed help beyond therapy. My mom has been on medication for years now, and was in full support of me talking to my doctor. I love my momma, she is the most supportive person ever and without her support, I don't know if I would have actually went through with it. I AM SO HAPPY THAT I DID!

    I talked to my doctor and was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder (GAD). She first, put me on Escitalopram (Lexapro) 10 mg. I took this medication for a month and genuinely felt AMAZING. I did not have any anxiety or panic attacks. Many people say that Lexapro makes them feel like a zombie but I genuinely never felt so alive when I was on it. From my experience, every day just felt the same and I loved that consistency. For me, without medication I would either have high highs or low lows. Feeling the same every day was a blessing. But... then I got off it. You might be wondering...why? Part of it is because I was having problems in bed (IYKYK) but that wasn't all of it. I also was having trouble feeling actual emotions and I just did not like that side of the medicine. But..... I am just on a new brand now!

I am now taking Sertraline (Zoloft) 50 mg. This medication I have only been taking for a couple weeks but so far it has been really good. I still feel sadness, and happiness but I also have way less anxiety which is amazing. I will always be an advocate for people who believe they should be on medication. Sooooo many people told me to not do it because it will change me and yada yada. Medication has not changed who I am whatsoever. I don't understand why people are so judgmental on the topic. Sometimes you just need an extra push and THAT. IS. OKAY. You are not a failure, and you are not giving up in anyway. 

    Moral of the story, it is okay to not be okay. Help is important and I am so glad I took this leap because I have genuinely never felt better. Take the leap or don't, but make sure it is your choice and not due to others opinions or projections. 

Thanks for reading divas!!