How to Check Someone as a Non-Confrontational Girly

 

        As someone who is a non-confrontational baddie, at times it is hard to put people into their place. You might start to worry about how they or others around will perceive you. I have always struggled badly with people pleasing, and caring/tending to others needs before my own. GUYS it's 2026, it's time to knock that shit off. We deserve to stand up for ourselves just as much as we stand up for others. 

    It has taken me a lot of time to realize that my struggles with people pleasing was starting to allow people to walk over me. I was allowing others to control MY own life before I was. Don't let others put you down, instead do this! 

    When someone is talking down to you or speaking to you in a condescending manner, instead of brushing it off, call them out on their bullshit immediately. This is setting a boundary in place that you will not allow that behavior. If someone says something to you in a tone that you do not like, for example someone is speaking in a rude way to you just say, "Hey what you just said came off kinda rude, is that how you intended it to come across as?" By saying this you are not only calling out their behavior, but you are giving them a chance to explain their statement, just in case they actually weren't trying to be rude or hateful. 

    In most cases, said person will usually back track or apologize on the spot because they did not expect you to call them out. Just by taking this small step, you are putting multiple boundaries into place while not being rude at all. 

    Calling out someone's behavior is not easy especially if you are non-confrontational. Allow yourself to speak up on your behalf. Doing this is not only challenging the person you are speaking with, but it is also challenging yourself to take the necessary steps to combat your anxieties towards conflict. 

    At the end of the day, none of this is possible if you don't reflect on yourself. Take some time to sit in your feelings, and really be present with them. Why are you so angry? Why do you feel hurt? Why do you feel betrayed? Allow yourself to answer all the questions that have been roaming around in your head. If you do not get to know your own triggers, you can't understand how to specifically combat them. 

Thanks for reading I hope this was helpful in someway! Learning this strategy has helped me build the confidence to stand up for myself in my own life. I hope it can work for you all as well :) 

Bye divas!